Saturday, March 15, 2008

假?假?

放假了,
回想回想,不断的回想,
看着受伤的手。。这是第几道疤了?
可是发觉到越来越不怕痛了,
是习惯了吗?还是已经活的没有知觉了?
我觉得我越来越假了。。
脸上的肌肉越来越不自然。。
好讨厌现在的我。。我不知道我真正想要的是什么,
好想抽烟,我只喜欢想。。幻想着吸着烟,
想着我在堕落,至少我还有角色。。
越来越不明白自己想要什么。。
每一天我都在逃避,
我也不懂我在逃避什么。。
不懂,习惯的常挂在嘴边了。。
灰灰灰。。黑黑黑。。
啊!!!!!!!!!!!救命啊!
最近常掉头发。。我觉得我有病。。。
那天看到的报道,其实人体本来就有癌细胞,
只是没有爆发出来,说什么负面思想心里会唤醒癌细胞。
看了有点怕。。我怕失去一切。。
一切?我有什么?朋友?
真正的有吗?对不起,我对朋友没什么信心,
对自己也一样。。
真的不懂要相信谁,曾经相信的被背叛,
trust no1..前几天看到,
很深刻。何时我变得那么小气了呢?
原来我自己都不明白自己了。。
刚收到朋友的讯息:
don't say sorry to me,
SAY SORRY TO YOURSELF. sorry because making urself suffering. sorry to yourself, because wasting time on those idiot thing. sorry to yourself because always think that you cant do it, cant make it, useless idiot fucker. sorry to yourself because treated urself badly and sohaily. say sorry.
不知道怎么搞的,眼泪很不听话地流了。。

5 comments:

Sabrina Lin said...

Yea right! hope u can really feel those words i've told u. As a friend, i do really hate to see you like that. You can act infront of us, pretended that you're fine, but you cant cheat yourself. The real happy, you have to find it yourself by treating yourself better and better. 1st, please at least be a optimist. +u+u! Though you're not really trust on friend, but still, im here for you. Take care. Cheers =)

Sabrina Lin said...

YOU'RE NOT ALONE CHEW SIONG LENG. YOU GOT US.

ShAwN said...

Though you're not really trust on friend,but im still think you're my best buddy.Please and Please and Please don't give up yourself.+U+U.I'll always support you,if can tell me what's happen on you,i willing you and i be ready to be your audience.cheers,take good care^^v

Oh Yeah said...

喂...不要这么悲观...如果你真的想开心的笑,可以,告诉我...我可以做一辈子的小丑,逗你笑...朋友,明白我的意思吗???不要逼到自己这么紧...^^

Oh Yeah said...
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